Le journal.

everything is here.

I honestly cannot stop thinking about the first kiss I’ve ever shared with you.

It was when you crumbled down my wall and I let it all go.

The point where I forgave you and you forgave me.

The point where we both showed each other that we were ready to fall in love.

The point where we I became so vulnerable and allowed you to see me like that.

That kiss defines us. It shows our innocence and inexperience.

That kiss made me feel like I could do anything in the world.

It made me the happiest I have ever been.

That was the day you told me that you loved  me.

That was honestly the happiest day of my life.

I love you.

I haven’t posted in a while.

But, I guess I can start now.

Today was horrible. I have this gross feeling that I just make everybody mad now, and that it’s starting to become like my freshman year: no friends, no support, no inspiration, nothing really. I’m starting to feel like my boyfriend is getting tired of me, I guess. I don’t know. It’s weird. And I’m starting to develop a separation anxiety. That’s probably not the most attractive trait to have in a significant other, so I guess I don’t blame him. It makes me sad though. :P Go figure.

A lot has been going on with me lately. I just havent had the time to document everything.

I’ve been crying a lot. (And no, I’m not hormonal)

I’m just getting to the stage (which I revisit frequently) that I’m just not happy with myself.

I’m crazy.

On days like this, I prefer to stay in my room with the window open while I listen to old French jazz.

It feels like my vagina is falling off.

—Heather

Holding hands might just be the cutest thing ever. It’s such an intimate gesture, yet innocent at the same time. When you feel their hand touching the palm of yours it’s like the entire world is at your fingertips at that moment. And even better, the first time two people ever hold hands, is precious. When the person nudges at your hand and eventually slides their fingers interlocking with yours and you feel your cheeks getting warm, turning a shade of rosy pink and your heart pounding like drums. When they grasp on so tight like it would be impossible to let you go. How their hand just seems to fit right into yours as if it was meant to be that way. So beautiful and satisfying with a rush of different emotions. And just with the knowledge that your hands are linked together makes your hearts even fonder and you can literally feel how close you are to each other.

Holding hands might just be the cutest thing ever. It’s such an intimate gesture, yet innocent at the same time. When you feel their hand touching the palm of yours it’s like the entire world is at your fingertips at that moment. And even better, the first time two people ever hold hands, is precious. When the person nudges at your hand and eventually slides their fingers interlocking with yours and you feel your cheeks getting warm, turning a shade of rosy pink and your heart pounding like drums. When they grasp on so tight like it would be impossible to let you go. How their hand just seems to fit right into yours as if it was meant to be that way. So beautiful and satisfying with a rush of different emotions. And just with the knowledge that your hands are linked together makes your hearts even fonder and you can literally feel how close you are to each other.

(via ratlover1995)